Complicating Love – Chapter 6

TL: Single TL Translations

Chapter 6

“But…you know, I thought I knew and understood you a little, Yuki. Since we kept chatting and calling each other. But… I didn’t know anything. Yuki, you were laughing so happily, talking about stories I’ve never heard of, about friends you’ve never talked about… it was fun listening and I was happy, but… for some reason… it might be weird for me to be thinking this, but… I… felt… jealous.”

“Jealous?”

I asked Aoi gently when she said such a cute thing to which she slightly nodded her head with wet eyes. She really is both a crybaby and sensitive. I’ve made her cry quite a bit today. She did say she doesn’t have many friends and Aoi’s the silent type, so it was probably her first time interacting with someone like my type. I felt her grip increase in the hand I grasped.

“When I saw you talking to other people, looking so happy, I felt that the worlds we live in are completely different. With people I don’t know… I can’t talk to them that well, but Yuki, you have sociability, are nice… and can talk about many things. …You’re kind to someone like me who’s clumsy with words, even though I’m happy… my chest feels hazy and… it’s painful…”

When the tears in her eyes that had accumulated finally spilled, the tears overflowed and continuously shed in large drops one after another until she began to cry. I started to seriously regret it while gently stroking her head. So, this was what the expression I didn’t know was, the answer to my question. The time she attempted to say something at the bar was probably because she had trouble suppressing her emotions. I wanted her to have fun, but I instead made her have an awful time. Aoi continued further.

“Plus… even though I knew and understood that… you have a lot of friends, Yuki… when I saw you talking with your friends… I suddenly had that hazy feeling and… you know, at that time… I tried to leave. I’m the worst, aren’t I… I felt angry and… I didn’t want to watch it any longer… even though I had so much fun. I just… I don’t know why…”

My heart tightened watching her cry harder. Despite that fact we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, I was honestly happy she was fond of me and even felt it was lovely. I gently embraced her and put her head on my chest then rubbed her back, her body shook when she flinched from, but she pressed her face even further and continued crying in my arms. While thinking she’s pure, I started talking to her in hopes she would stop crying.

“I’m happy you like me, Aoi. You know, it’s not weird to think about stuff like that and if you like the person then it’s only natural to think like that. It can’t be helped asking for the impossible.”

“Yeah…”

Aoi who slightly nodded and drew closer to me was so cute I smiled.

“Here’s the thing, I’m just more used to people compared to others. You said sociability, but it’s just that I went to places that have a lot of opportunities to talk to many different people. If you repeat the same thing every day, then won’t you naturally become able to do it at one point? It’s the same as that. In the past, I also couldn’t talk to anyone too, you know?”

“Is that… true?”

I nodded at the girl saying ‘yeah, it’s true’ who sniffled and stopped crying a little, then continued.

“That’s why, you don’t need to think of yourself as ‘poor at speaking,’ you don’t need to be envious of it. It’s a difference of being used to it or not, it’s not as though you’ll die from it and even if you’re clumsy with words, you’re still trying to clearly convey your feelings, Aoi. By no means is that something everyone is capable of, rather it’s something that requires courage.”

“Courage?”

“Yeah, courage. Aoi, you always say it even if it’s something difficult to speak about, don’t you? Just like today. You properly confronted yourself, that sort of thing is great.”

Aoi’s reservedly wrapped her arms towards my back and grabbed my clothes. After thinking ‘I wonder what happened,’ she raised her head and started looking at me. She had an uneasy expression with her eyes still wet. Though indiscreet, that face was beautiful and adorable looking, it made my heart thump.

“That’s not true. Yuki always makes it easier for me talk… you kindly guide me. That’s why, I can talk.”

“Huh? It’s not like I’m doing anything, am I?”

“No, you’re wrong. It’s been like this from the start. That’s why I always relied on you, since I can’t do it correctly… that’s why… you see,… um…”

She accumulated tears in her eyes once again while hesitating to speak. Even though that’s not the case. I asked her ‘that’s why, what is it?’ while gently stroking this stubborn girls head.

“Don’t, hate me. … I’ll fix it from now on…I won’t be annoying …from now on, I’ll properly work at it, so…”

My heart was aching from this girl’s soft pleading. I wonder why she’s saying that. I couldn’t speak at her sudden words and Aoi, who misunderstood me because my face warped from that, burst into tears once again. I hurriedly consoled her.

“Aoi, I like you. I won’t come to hate you. Why would you ask something like that?”

“Because… I’m… the worst… I got jealous as I pleased… felt uneasy… i-it’s disgusting, isn’t it? …I’m sorry. This… This is the first I’ve felt like this, I don’t know understand what this is. But, I don’t want to be hated.”

She sniffled and her tears wouldn’t stop. I gently caressed her cheek and wiped the tears. She’s a really honest and modest, kind girl. She properly understood and apologized, she’s able to clearly convey how she feels. Aoi isn’t clumsy with words. I also need to clearly convey it to her. In order to give her a peace of mind.

“Don’t cry. I don’t hate you. I also don’t think it’s disgusting. When you said you were jealous, I thought ‘this girl says such cute things’ and thought you were adorable, it made me like you again. You’re a delicate and shy person, yet you honestly convey your feelings, I’m happy you do that, I like that part of you too. You know, I won’t get mad or anything, you can tell me whenever you feel jealous or if something bad happens. I’ll try my best to pay attention from now on. Also, I don’t mind you being clumsy with words, it’s a part of you I think that’s cute, rather there’s nothing I hate about you. Alright, would you please stop crying? Your eyes will become swollen tomorrow, okay?”

Aoi nodded multiple times, saying ‘mhmm’ and pressed against my chest shedding tears, I didn’t know what to do. For the time being, I wrapped my arms around her and patted her to calm her down, and then, as though towards a child, I gently rubbed her back, affectionately whispering to her ‘it’s okay, you can stop crying now, alright?’ I then pressed my face on Aoi’s head.

“Aoi, c’mon, stop crying, okay? It’s okay now because I like you.”

“Uh-huh… thank you…”

When I gently rubbed Aoi’s back until she stopped crying and at times told her ‘it’s okay,’ after crying herself out, it seems she finally fell asleep. Once I felt relieved by this fact, I also fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up to the feeling of something squirming in my arms. It looks like Aoi’s trying to slip through my arms. I put some strength in my arms when I felt her put some distance between us.

“Aoi, you woke up?”

“Wah! Yuki, you were awake?”

“I just woke up. Are your eyes okay?”

When I looked at Aoi with my blurred vision, in a flustered way she averted her eyes. Her eyes were a little swollen.

“It seems like they’re a little swollen, do they hurt? Do you want to put some ice on it?”

“No, it’s okay. About yesterday… that’s, I’m sorry. I cried a lot and said… various things…”

I put my hand on her face and started touching her cheek, I then used my fingers to touch the area around her eyes to which Aoi reservedly grasped my hand. She shyly and with an expression of guilt sincerely apologized while looking into my eyes; I felt a little ticklish.

“It’s fine already. I don’t mind. I understood well that Aoi likes me a lot.”

When I answered her while smirking, she suddenly lowered her gaze, it was so adorable I drew my face close to her ears.

“Geez, are you feeling bashful again? You’re so cute.”

“S-Stop it. It’s… embarrassing.”

“Even though yesterday you cried that much?”

When I separated from her and tried to peer at her face, she turned the other way and used both of her hands to cover her face. To think she would be this shy after crying that much yesterday. She really is a shy person, I repeatedly poked at her back while smiling about this fact.

“Aoiii? Let me see your face.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then, I’ll do as I please. Is that fine?”

“You can’t.”

Since she stubbornly tried to hide her face by rolling into a ball, though I won’t do this normally, I forcefully grabbed her wrists and tried to spread them out against her will.

“No, stop that.”

“No can do. I’m going to look.”

Considering she’s taller than me she had no strength whatsoever, so I was able to spread her hands without much resistance and could easily subdue both her hands on the bed. Sure enough, Aoi’s face was red, sulking, and averting her gaze. The loveliness of this girl makes me feel warm inside.

“You’re cute, really.”

“Y…You keep saying cute this cute that…”

When I let go of her hands and started caressing her cheeks, she partly closed her eyes as though it felt good and put her own hand over mine. I broke into a smile from her cute small animal-like actions. She forgot about hiding her own face and went along with what I did without much resistance, and then softly muttered.

“Thank you for yesterday. I might… get jealous again, but… I want to go out with Yuki again. I want to meet up and do many things. Is that okay?”

She turned her gaze towards me by the time she finished her sentence. She doesn’t need to look at me if she’s embarrassed. Her sincereness in conveying her feelings; I laughed while answering her.

“Of course. Let’s go to many different places. I also want to do many things too. But I think for now, I want to hang out at your house, Aoi. You play games, right? I want to play games too.”

“Yeah!! Thank you. You did say you wanted to play games, Yuki. Ah, but before that I’ll make some food, you’re hungry, aren’t you?”

“Huh, yeah, I’ll eat! Rather, it’s already lunch time? I guess we slept for a while.”

Aoi got up from the bed and headed towards the kitchen, she skillfully started preparing the food. It’s currently 12 PM. I’m also hungry.

The dish of the day was a pot-au-feu, made from scrambled eggs, French toast, and salad. The meal was so tasty I quickly finished the meal this time as well. Since she put in a lot of effort to make this, I wanted to wash the dishes, but she stopped me with amazing force and told me to sit, so I reluctantly sat.

We then started playing the TV game Aoi often plays. It was a simple mystery solving game and an easy fantasy fighting game we played while talking about various things.

It seems like there’s a part of Aoi that hates losing and so when she loses, she says in a little unreasonable and in a slightly angrily ‘one more time!’ to which I reply with ‘okay’ and play until she wins. I also play games every now and then, so I had a very fulfilling time.

While continuing the mystery riddle game, I looked at the time and realized it was already past 5 PM. ‘It’s already this time, huh,’ Aoi was leaning on my shoulder when she said, ‘let’s go over here,’ and started using the controller in my hands.

“Aoi?”

“Hm, what is it? Did you figure this part out?”

As usual, she was so absorbed in the game that she replied while staring at the screen. Though it’s a little hard to say, it wouldn’t be good to stay here for too long either.

“I should probably leave soon. You also have work tomorrow, right?”

“Huh? You’re leaving already? …I do have work tomorrow, but…”

She immediately became dejected and responded, just like a cute dog, I felt guilty.

“Don’t make that kind of face. We’ll hang out again, alright?”

“Uh-huh…”

This girl who grabbed the sleeve of my clothes was so cute, it reminded me of the first time I stayed over. Just as I was leaving on that day, she also had an unhappy look and it made it harder for me to leave. I think I stroked her head at that time.

“I’ll contact you again and call you too. You can do the same, Aoi, okay?”

When I gently stroked her hair and patted her head, she reservedly clung to me. When I gently hugged her, I was able to smell that good scent once again. I guess my habit of pampering has made her behave like a spoiled child. Though I can’t stop since she’s so cute.

“Will you properly reply?”

“Of course. Although, if you’re busy with work, Aoi, you don’t need to force yourself, okay?”

“… You’re more important, Yuki.”

“Alright alright.” Her physical intimacy that’s too close and her selfishness is just like that of a younger sister. The fact that, for the most part, I like her is funny to me. I held her tightly and when I was at the front door, she made an even more unhappy expression, so I stroked her head. She smiled so happily from that action which in turn made me feel satisfied and fulfilled.

TL Note: Sadly this wasn’t a confession of their romantic feelings for each other, but hey, they technically have mutual feelings, so I’ll take it… for now. 😀

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